David Morris-- How to be a good father

The best gift a father can give his family, Is to be a man who:

 - Lives with purpose 

- Acts with integrity 

- Perseveres with commitment 

- Loves with courage 

That doesn't describe me yet. 

But I will keep listening, learning, apologizing, growing... Until it does.

Living With Purpose: 

We trust those who recognize their responsibility to the world, 

And will suffer or sacrifice to uphold it. 

But most of us men live only for ourselves. 

As CS Lewis said, we're just "fooling about with drink and sex and ambition." 

There's no larger story.

But a man worth trusting sees beyond himself. He connects to a higher calling. A calling to give life to others. To build, restore, and renew. To see his contribution to the world's problems, And humbly ask what he can do to make it right. This is his life's mission.

Acting With Integrity: 

We trust those who have clear convictions, 

And live them out consistently. 

But most of us men are driven by convenience, not conviction. 

We stand for things that benefit us. Or we don't stand for anything at all. 

We're comfortable with inconsistency.

But a man worth trusting wants consistency between who he says he is, And who he really is. He stands for things that matter: - Honoring others - Doing right because it's right - Giving generously And holds true to his convictions, Even (especially) when it's inconvenient.

Persevering With Commitment: 

We trust those we know will stand firm when things get tough. 

But most of us men give up at the first sign of trouble. 

We search for shortcuts and easy wins. 

When we don't find them, we quit. 

Quit on ourselves. Quit on others. We have no fight.

But a man worth trusting fixes his eyes on what's important and pursues it. Tenaciously. There's no distance he won't go, no fear he won't face, no pride he won't swallow. Especially for those he loves. He's bold enough to make commitments. And tough enough to back them up.

Loving With Courage: 

We trust those who know love's price, 

And still choose to pay it. 

But most of us men see relationships as disposable, replaceable, or upgradeable. 

We know what they require of us, 

And how they expose our flaws. 

So we keep others at arm's length.

But a man worth trusting knows that loving others is dangerous, And he's here for it. He opens himself up to being hurt. He chooses to be tender and gentle. He engages, stays present. He feels, even when it causes him pain. He courageously gives himself away. For love.

9 commitments every parent should make:

"I will take pride in being taken for granted." 

Parenting is a thankless job. As an approval addict, this bothered me. Until it hit me ⏤ I want to be taken for granted. It's a compliment. It means you're there for your kids so consistently that they don't even notice.

"I will lavishly express my love." 

I have friends who only had a parent say "I love you" a few times. Others who never heard it. You don't want hearing "I love you" to be an event your child remembers. You want to say it so often that they stop hearing it.

"I will choose to be proud of them...no matter what." 

In a moment of great personal failure, My father-in-law said to me: "As a parent, I don't always agree with my kid's choices, But I'm always proud of who they are ⏤ Because they're mine." That's the heart of a parent.

"I will do what's required to be available." 

When I die, I want my kids to say: "My dad was always available." Available to talk, advise, and encourage. Cheering when they win. By their side as a comfort when they lose. But availability comes at a great cost. Pay it.

"I will be the first to forgive." 

As I get older, I'm seeing how rare it is to have strong family relationships. And I've seen too many small grudges and grievances divide people. As a parent: - Freely sacrifice your pride. - Frequently overlook wrongs. - Fiercely forgive.

"I will always work for their good...even when they don't see it." 

The one thing you can't control as a parent is how your kids interpret your actions. Keep doing what's best for them. Endure their disapproval and accusation that you're out of touch with a knowing smile.

"I will be the mature one."

 I can't count the times I've had to look in the mirror and say: "You're the adult. Act like it." Immaturity demands to get its own way. Immaturity throws fits. Immaturity thinks short-term. Let your kids own immaturity, While you model maturity.

"I will be undignified and unabashed in my pursuit of play." 

Adult life is so heavy. We take ourselves so seriously. Playfulness dies. Choose to be the most playful person in your home. Dress up. Dance. Lose yourself in laughter. It will restore your soul.